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<title>The fic in which the Summoner has to explain Missiles to the Order of Heroes by Starseeker300</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949685">The fic in which the Summoner has to explain Missiles to the Order of Heroes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starseeker300/pseuds/Starseeker300'>Starseeker300</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Shark May or may not have been jumped, Alfonse is only here for 2 seconds so sorry Alfonse fans, Crack, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, Gen, no beta we die like Glenn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:46:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starseeker300/pseuds/Starseeker300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all, crackfic so I don't know what you are expecting, I wrote this in like half an hour after seeing the trailer for book 5</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The fic in which the Summoner has to explain Missiles to the Order of Heroes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this in like 30mins. I don't necessarily hate the new book of feh, but I'm just a little afraid that we might have jumped the shark so to speak</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Run it by me again?" Alfonse questioned "I'm afraid I don't understand"</p><p>"So that stuff we were attacked with", Kiran said in a deliberately slow manner, visible trying to not hyperventilate, "are called Missiles, they are a weapon that exists in my world and they are more dangerous than any spell"</p><p>"So why can't we just use a silence spell on them?" one of the heroes asked</p><p>"Because", Kiran continued, still trying to not hyperventilate, "They aren't magical."</p><p>"How do we defend against them?" another hero asked.</p><p>"You don't" Kiran said with a shaky voice on the clearly edge of loseing it," you can't, i  dont care how fast you think your horse is or how thick your armor is or what blessings your weapon has, these things will blow you into tiny chunks, dodge to the side if you can otherwise you are a smear on the ground and I'm not sure even brediblik can bring you back from that"</p><p>At the mention of that most of the heroes broke out into surprised, shocked, or horrified murmurings among themselves. The only exceptions strangely were the heroes hailing from fodlan.</p><p>Sharena noticed this and went over to One of the heroes, the older Edelgard, who in her world is emperor of a unified fodlan.</p><p>"hey Edelgard, that stuff sounds pretty scary right?" Sharena said in her usual peppy attitude.</p><p>"No not really" The Emperor responded " during my campaign to reunify fodlan, my 'allies'", the emperor spat out the word allies like it was an insult, "those who slither in the dark used a weapon much like what the summoner is describing, except it was much larger and destroyed heavily fortified fortress in a single blow and wiped out half my standing army with it, I am already familiar with the technology"</p><p>"Wow" was all Sharena could manage upon hearing this from the Emperor, "I dont think I would want to visit fodlan anytime soon then"</p><p>"imagine having to live there" was the emperor's curt response.</p><p>While Sharena and Edelgard were having this conversation off to the side, Kiran was continuing to answer from the heroes.</p><p>Could I disintegrate a missile with my dragon breath?" one of the Manakete heroes asked.</p><p>"No, you'll probably just cause it to detonate right in your face and again be reduced to paste on the ground" Kiran reiterated, now only a hair away from losing it.</p><p>"what i caught one of the missiles?" One of the more hot blooded heroes asked. </p><p>At this Kiran decided that they were done with this and just stopped talking, got off the podium they were standing on to talk to all the summoned heroes, and promptly went to their room to go curl up and cry on the floor.</p><p>"I'm done with this bs game, really adding mechas!" they half screamed, half cried into their pillow.</p>
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